"I would have thrown him off." Ethan's voice is low when he responds, and he can honestly say that he knows what would have happened. He would have thrown him off without thinking, regretted it the moment that he did, done all he could trying to get him back. His throat burns with the truth of it all. "And tried to save him." His hand tightens over her arm just briefly, and he can already feel the anger draining out of him, because he never wanted to be... this. Much as he is not the type to run from his anger anymore either.

He doesn't look down or away. Ethan looks at her face, and his hand is still on her arm as he turns her toward him to look at him. He shakes his head at the question.

Then. Then. Then. Then he would have more blood on his hands, but it would be worse because it is someone that she loves and she has lost enough. "Then you... wouldn't be able to forgive me for it, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for it," he says after a moment. He hasn't forgiven himself for the multiple people that he has killed, and she doesn't even know about that, because he has never been able to put it into words. "Maybe that's what he wanted or maybe--"

Maybe he just wanted Ethan to throw him overboard, which makes Ethan feel more than a little sick with it.