[ no, bonnie doesn't understand. not many people understand. they think of her as so much better than she really is, and maybe a part of her has wanted to maintain that image, in spite of the fear that she might be a fraud for it. that she might not be that person they think she is, the person she wants to be but ultimately falls short of. there are things she really is guilty for that she never manages to apologize for, never manages to let those words push out of her throat for fear of what they'd think. so maybe it's easier to apologize for this instead, even if bonnie deserves so much better than that.
so much better than her and her hollow sorries. bonnie is a much better person than she is, and elena doesn't know if she's aware of that, but she's selfish enough to cling to her anyway, to keep a tight hold of her hand as though that makes anyone stay.
tears grow warm underneath her eyelids, but they remain unchecked, and she smiles through the burn. she envelops her just as tightly, arms wrapping around the other girl and not quite letting go yet. ] You're here now. [ and that's what she wants to focus on. she doesn't want to focus on how ephemeral this all is, and how eventually, she'll be sent back to a city that doesn't have her, doesn't have caroline, doesn't have a damon or an allison that remember her. she wants here and now, for as long as she can have it. ]
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so much better than her and her hollow sorries. bonnie is a much better person than she is, and elena doesn't know if she's aware of that, but she's selfish enough to cling to her anyway, to keep a tight hold of her hand as though that makes anyone stay.
tears grow warm underneath her eyelids, but they remain unchecked, and she smiles through the burn. she envelops her just as tightly, arms wrapping around the other girl and not quite letting go yet. ] You're here now. [ and that's what she wants to focus on. she doesn't want to focus on how ephemeral this all is, and how eventually, she'll be sent back to a city that doesn't have her, doesn't have caroline, doesn't have a damon or an allison that remember her. she wants here and now, for as long as she can have it. ]