[ her eyes burn powerfully at his answer. she hates that they were separated at the end of the world. she hates that she doesn't know where he ended up, and all of the reasons why he's changed, but it means so much to her he's honest about it. it feels like she can reach him so as long as they're honest with each other. so as long as he stays here, despite how tense he looks. how pained and haunted. her heart aches in a way she can't put to words, and she blinks back those tears before they can form, focusing instead on what he says as opposed to how he looks. how he feels, sitting right next to her.

a mirthless smile curves on her lips. ]

No. No, it's not. [ nothing would stop her at this point. her hand reaches out to hold his own again. she studies their hands, their interlocked fingers, and how right that seems. for all of their changes, she's never doubted ethan loves and cares about her. she's never doubted he belongs where she is, never doubted it's where he wants to be. maybe she needs to trust that, too. ]

I'd want you there with me. You're still my best friend too, Ethan. After everything, however we change, that's - that's not something that will. I want you there with me.

[ she does. she doesn't want to do this alone. ]