[ota]

[rawly]

Sonny has been on this ship for not long at all, but he is already behind the bar where he knows how to be. There's a sign on top of the advice that says Free Fuckin' Advice on top as he leans against the other side of the bar. He is not responsible for the sign for the record. Sonny is also not responsible for the fact that some people who end up at this bar will find themselves far more likely to share their troubles than they would be ordinarily. They'll suddenly find words for troubles they've never been able to describe before.

It's the ship's magic, and Sonny is a demon and a bartender who is over eighty years old. He's done some terrible things for selfish reasons, and he's done some terrible things for the good of others, and he's loved and had a family. Nothing's ever that fucking simple.

He has plenty to say, but he's going to say it all in his own fucking way.

Come have a drink.

Come spill the things you can't ever normally put to words. Come let someone listen or give a word or two that might set you on the right path or the wrong path or any fucking path.

It's what he's here for.

Comments

[rawly]

Sonny swallows, shaking his head as he stares at her. He is abandoning the bar, moving around and toward her, but every step feels heavy, every step is slow like if he moves too fucking fast she might disappear into thin air.

His eyes burn, and he shakes his head.

Her hand. He remembers finding the remains of her-- her hand in the burned up building and the rubble. Of course, he does, and there it is as if--

when he gets close enough, he reaches out to take her hand in his own (it is solid, it is real, she is real). his eyes burn more and he is not a demon or a leader of a bar at all, he's a broken man holding the hand of a woman he loved and lost, and every carefully built part of himself threatens to fucking crumble all at once.

"Olivia."

Her name is a strangled thing.

[leavers]

She doesn't disappear.

Olivia seems to sense that is what he fears - and can she even blame him for it? - so she stays in place, waiting for him to approach her instead of the other way around. They've almost come full circle, haven't they? The first time they met, she was hiding behind a dumpster like a wounded animal, blood dripping from her mouth. Her very first transformation - her very first kill, too - as a behemoth. He approached her tentatively, the way he is now, except back then his fear would be she'd dart away in fear.

She isn't going anywhere this time. She glances down at their hands as he reaches for her, her smile finally growing tearful.

"Hiya, Sonny." It's said so simply, when it is anything but. She is trying to be strong for him. If he crumbles, she surely will.

"You look old."

Older and more tired than she remembers, and it aches her chest, though that's not how she says it. No, she calls him old like she's being a little shit, because she is. It's who she's always been. See? one would think she is trying to say. Still me.

[rawly]

Sonny remembers when they met, of course. He remembers that day and all the ones that followed as he showed her how to grip hold of the demon powers, as he watched her grow into the beautiful woman she became. His hands tighten over her own, and his chest aches painfully with it as he meets her gaze. His eyes are burning, and his thumb slides over the outside of her hand. A disbelieving sound escapes him.

It's something like a fond and broken laugh when she sounds so much like her. It is. It's still her. There's that laugh which escapes him, and he used to respond in a different way arguing with her about it, calling her too young. He does neither of those things this time.

He lifts his hand up until he is cupping her face against his palm. His eyes burn more, and the tear finally escapes, slides down his face. "I am old."

He is much, much too old, and she died much, much too young. And that's the way the world works except when it gives you an impossible moment like this..

[leavers]

It was more than that, of course.

He didn't just teach her how to get a hold of her demon powers. He taught her how to embrace the monster in her. So many people would fall all over themselves to reassure her that she isn't, and a part of her is, of course. She knows what she is capable of; what she has always been capable of. And Sonny saw it, too, but he never feared it. She blinks through the tears, her fingers gripping tight hold of his. Her eyes close, like she has found relief, the moment his hand cups her face.

She leans into it, the warmth of his hand. It is as warm as she is warm.

A thumb draws out to wipe the tear away from his face, and all too quickly, she is finally (finally!) gathering him up in her arms, hugging him tightly to her. "Older," she says then. Older than she remembers.

More broken than she remembers, too.

[rawly]

It can be dangerous to not tell things how it is.

People will sugarcoat. They'll want someone to feel better, but a person has to know what they are dealing with in order to handle it best. Sonny has never believed in giving anything other than the truth, and the truth is they both have monsters inside of them. No, he could never be afraid of her, of it. Never. Sonny swallows thickly as he sees her blinking through the tears, and his hand slides further over the side of her face as his chest aches tightly with it, painfully with it.

He closes his eyes against the burning there, leaning into her touch as she wipes the tear from his face, and he is quick to wrap his arms tightly around her too, pulling her into a protective hug as he presses his face against her shoulder, breathing her in.

It smells like her. There were times when he'd-- he'd swear he smelled this scent of hers, and he was always wrong. Sonny wraps his arms around her, and his expression crumples as the tears flow more freely, reliving that grief tearing through his chest like something terrible. His fingers slide into her beautiful hair as his eyes burn.

"I am so fucking sorry."

[leavers]

"Don't even start."

The words are said thickly against his own shoulder, her arms tightly holding him in place. She shakes her head stubbornly, almost like she can will him to swallow those words back before they ever left his mouth. Olivia knew exactly what she was getting into when she stepped into the Crowbar and accepted his help. She also knew exactly where she would've ended up if she had not done so, and she would choose the Crowbar, choose him, a thousand times over. He never did get that through his thick skull.

She can feel the tears, hot and blinding, form in her eyes, and she closes them stubbornly to keep them inside. It's strange. She knows that she is a ghost to him, but she does not feel like one. She feels alive and tangible; she feels the rough punch to the gut in the stomach at his words.

"Don't. It wasn't your fault. If you still feel guilty about it after all this time, I swear, Sonny - "

Olivia doesn't know how she planned on finishing that sentence, but she does swear.