Ethan is angry at himself and at Damon, but he would be very proud to know that Elena doesn't feel guilty, because he knows how much guilt she carries for things that she shouldn't (over the years, she's carried so, so much and it has weighed on her in terrible, painful ways) and she shouldn't feel guilty for this, for that night. They weren't together then at all. There's nothing to feel guilty about, and he's not angry that it happened. As much as he hates to visualize it and think of it in his head, he isn't angry about it. He's angry Damon said it as that should have come from Elena and not him, not like that, not with the reminder of how incredibly absent he had been from Elena's life during that time.
He can feel the guilt claw up at his chest. His eyes burn as he stands there, locking his jaw, breathing in sharply through that feeling in his chest that hurts and his leg that hurts. The pain is nothing in comparison to the many times that he has died so it's easy to ignore especially when the pain is nothing in comparison to the many feelings clawing and tearing inside of his chest like this. He can't breathe through it, through the anger and the violence and the pain and the guilt and the hatred that twists in his stomach all at once.
Elena has placed herself in between the two of them, and he never wanted to put her in that position where she felt like she had to, had to come between two men who are being violent with each other. He doesn't like his violence but it's his. His eyes burn, and his chest aches with it. Ethan can tell they're having some conversation even though they're not saying a single word out loud. He can tell by the way they're looking at each other (the last time he felt this small was--)
He does know how close they are. He was there at the ball when they said so much without saying a word out loud, when he watched them dance together. When he'd come over sometimes, Damon would be there, hanging out like he lived there. People mistook the two of them for boyfriend and girlfriend sometimes on the campus even if he didn't get it because every time he saw Damon, Damon was being an ass to someone. So he's never liked the guy, the ship made that worse though, the close quarters, Damon's reaction both to Ethan and Elena dating and to the fact that Ethan ended up with her in that other universe--
It's been a constant barrage, and he'd had enough. They've never really talked about Damon. Ethan and Elena. They've talked about so much, but never...
no subject
He can feel the guilt claw up at his chest. His eyes burn as he stands there, locking his jaw, breathing in sharply through that feeling in his chest that hurts and his leg that hurts. The pain is nothing in comparison to the many times that he has died so it's easy to ignore especially when the pain is nothing in comparison to the many feelings clawing and tearing inside of his chest like this. He can't breathe through it, through the anger and the violence and the pain and the guilt and the hatred that twists in his stomach all at once.
Elena has placed herself in between the two of them, and he never wanted to put her in that position where she felt like she had to, had to come between two men who are being violent with each other. He doesn't like his violence but it's his. His eyes burn, and his chest aches with it. Ethan can tell they're having some conversation even though they're not saying a single word out loud. He can tell by the way they're looking at each other (the last time he felt this small was--)
He does know how close they are. He was there at the ball when they said so much without saying a word out loud, when he watched them dance together. When he'd come over sometimes, Damon would be there, hanging out like he lived there. People mistook the two of them for boyfriend and girlfriend sometimes on the campus even if he didn't get it because every time he saw Damon, Damon was being an ass to someone. So he's never liked the guy, the ship made that worse though, the close quarters, Damon's reaction both to Ethan and Elena dating and to the fact that Ethan ended up with her in that other universe--
It's been a constant barrage, and he'd had enough. They've never really talked about Damon. Ethan and Elena. They've talked about so much, but never...
His voice is quiet when he speaks. "Yeah."