open ] [i am a wolf in your eyes and i'm filled with regret

[eluding]

[ooc: SO THEY ARE fighting for real. if your character wants to try to break it up, watch out, they're vampire and werewolf (though the cliffhanger moment i think someone could talk sense into Ethan rlkj;ea). also all the furniture/the bar/the alcohol on the deck and stuff is gonna be a bit destroyed for awhile. SORRY ABOUT THAT. someone should try to make them clean it up lol]

This has been building for awhile. Honestly, it's been building since Chicago, but being on this ship with Damon's constant jabs and comments (calling him wolfboy over and over again when there's nothing Ethan hates more than the werewolf inside of himself) and the knowing that Ethan not only fell out of a Rift after Elena when it was Damon that chose to go with her (and he hasn't seen her in decades, DECADES before now) and the knowing that they're in a relationship-- And part of always be in love with Elena even if she is his best friend first (and that dynamic can take over), Damon has always been in love with her too.

They end up on the deck alone together, and it doesn't take long to build into violence because it has been building for a long, long time. Ethan, for his part, tries to walk on by, ignoring Damon, but Damon starts in with the jabs and Ethan has a temper that he is no longer avoiding. He's done the worst as a werewolf. What more is there to avoid about it?

"I think I'm just going to have to remind you that I'm the one that was in that car with her that day." Damon is trying for the sarcasm but it's coming out sharp, angry. "Not you. You were perfectly good with walking away."

It's been building, and there's a certain level of too sharp, too real hurt when it comes to that particular accusation, and it's why the words come out in a shout, with bite. "I WAS COMING BACK."

"But you still thought you'd be good with WALKING away in the first place, didn't you? You left, and I stayed and I am always going to stay with her. I am always going to choose her like I always have, and that's not something you can say, wolfboy."

"Yes, because your obsessive fucking STALKER levels is something to wave around like a fucking flag." Ethan's hands become fists hard. The whole of him is shaking with rage and the need for violence. "Elena and I are together. She doesn't choose you, and it's her choice that is relevant here. Not yours. I understand that that is something you struggle to handle, but that never gives you the excuse to act like a jackass to me or to her. Do you understand? You need to back off or believe me, I. will. make. you."

And everything that Ethan is saying is striking a really, really hard nerve inside of Damon. The anger is growing and growing and so is the hurt, but he somehow manages to smirk (because if anyone is going to throw the first blow here, it's going to be her precious better man than Damon could ever be). He is used to burying down so much pain, and the smirk slides a bit further, something half sadistic in it. "Did you know Elena and I were together New Year's Eve? On my desk? It was really, really hot. Threw all of the things off of the desk, went wild. Y'know, now that I think about it, funny enough that was during the time you were once again strangely comfortable with walking directly out of her life--"

It is impossible to describe Ethan's reaction, because Elena and Ethan tell each other everything (almost everything, there are some things they were still working to tell each other, and it's true-- it's true that he wasn't-- it's something he regrets and guilt that he lives with every single day because the absence of Elena in his life is something he cannot--). There's a moment that it takes before it processes like he can't really wrap his head around the fact that this dickhead asshole and Elena actually-- And then it hits suddenly with visuals along with the grief and the guilt and the rage for Damon unlike he has ever fucking known it before.

Ethan lets out a noise of rage that hardly sounds human (and he's not really at the end of the day) and everything goes red all at once because he's picturing it and it's true that he wasn't there for fucking-- he wasn't there for her, and he lunges at him with both of his hands up, knocking him back so hard into the bar that they crash it open, breaking down the side of the wall completely as Damon hurdles back into the shelves of alcohol that all come crashing down on top of the both of them. Damon mutters a Finally before he shoves himself forward back at Ethan, fists are flying from both sides, and they're both bloody and furniture near by is getting broken in half or knocked to pieces along the way.

Neither one of them is really getting a leg up on the other. The rage and emotion inside of the both of them is intensely strong, and while Damon is much, much older than Ethan, Ethan's father made him and his brother to be stronger, faster than the average werewolf. It's not long at all until most of the deck has seen the results of this destruction (the furniture overturned or broken, bar broken, alcohol shattered), and Ethan manages to get that last punch in that has Damon sprawling backwards. The rage is still in every portion of his body (werewolves have so much rage, Ethan has had so much rage of his own, one and the same).

He reaches down gripping hold of Damon by the shirt and hauling him up violently against the railing (they're both bloody with bits of glass in them) as he shakes with that rage, intent on throwing him off the ship entirely at this point, because Ethan isn't exactly checking his strength. And that part inside of him that is violence and rage has clicked on.

If someone doesn't stop him, Damon is going straight into the water. Oops.

Comments

2/2

[consumes]

Damon, on the other hand, is not one to shy away from incredibly 'awkward' situations, which is why he is smirking at the both of them with that look on his gaze. It's the I'm a jackass look with a very, very big helping of I'm also incredibly reckless at the moment and have no fucks to give about what happens to me.

"No. My point was that of the two of us, I have been chosen to be with her and go where she is every single time. I have not ever failed to be by her side. Of the three of us here who all have our feelings for Elena and our history with her. Hi," Damon says with a slow, slow smirk. "Really, if we want to get technical... it's been me that's made that choice time and time again to be by her side. Me."

He reaches up his hand with that sarcastic, bitter expression on his face, the violent, hateful thing.

"Yet somehow-- S O M E H O W it is this asshole, wolfboy who ends up in that world with her. It's him. After he abandoned her for months, after he did not choose to go with her when the world ended, it's him--"

YES that would be Ethan rushing forward and trying to punch Damon again. Sorry, Stefan.

[somanyadjectives]

Damon.

Stefan wedges himself between Ethan and his brother, one hand on both of their chests and keeping that distance with every ounce of vampire strength he has. Because yes, while they all love her, while they all will always care about Elena, they all approach it in different ways.

Stefan learned that he needed to let her go a long time ago. Ethan is just getting the chance to love her, and maybe Damon never will, but in the end the question isn't who loves her the most or who chose her - it's about who Elena chooses.

"You can't blame him for how the rifts work, Damon." It's illogical and stupid and only going to make things worse. There's too much history here already. "And it doesn't matter who was where. What matters is that Elena made her choice. Elena. Pissing him off isn't going to do you any favors and you know that."

He takes a breath and turns back to Ethan. "And you need to learn how to not let him get under your skin. Believe me, I'm well aware of how impossible that is, but try. For the sake of no one getting thrown overboard. Because he's not going to stop being an ass any time soon, but you can't attack him every time he tries."

[eluding]

Ethan lets out a sharp breath, stopping where he is standing. This has been going on for years, and he doesn't let anyone treat him like shit anymore least of all Damon. He swallows, biting back the unhelpful response that of course he can attack him every single time. He can't. The logic of it is that he cannot attack him every single time.

It had just been building up for too long, too long of having things used against him, too long of being called wolfboy and being reduced to the monster that he hates. Ever since the ship, it's been even worse, and he thinks it's part to do with the fact they're together but more to do with wherever the hell Damon was.

Either way, he realizes this isn't the smart move. Nothing about this is a smart move on a small ship. More than that, he knows Stefan is trying to make sense of things and speak sense to the both of them. His emotions are just-- They're hard to contain right now.

"You're right," Ethan says after a moment, jaw locking tightly with it as he takes a step back, swallowing it all down. His voice is low but it is sincere despite his anger. He did not want to let Damon get to him nor did he want to let-- nor did he want to nearly kill him. "I'm sorry for almost throwing your brother overboard."

No, he is not going to apologize to Damon for it nor will he apologize for the fight itself.

[consumes]

"Because I'm obviously looking for favors, because it even fucking matters what I do."

Damon rolls his eyes.

Having Ethan accept what his brother says isn't exactly helping Damon right now. He is not on this ship for the long haul, and he has no desire to return to where he's from so at least being thrown overboard would be something new.

He doesn't respond to Stefan's very calm and certain logic nor does he respond to Ethan's apology. He just stands there like a sullen child that wants to rip apart the whole world (but nothing and no one more than himself).

Damon swallows thickly as he wavers in place but doesn't move either or apologize or say anything for once.

[somanyadjectives]

"Thank you."

Stefan will accept that apology for the both of them and is silently grateful for Damon keeping his mouth shut. In all honesty, he's worried about Damon, worried about them falling back into the old patterns of Damon self-destructing and Stefan trying to keep everything together, but at least it's roles they know, if nothing else. He swallows, before placing a hand on Damon's shoulder, pushing him away from the scene and to somewhere else.

"C'mon. Let's go."

Somewhere where they can talk and he can figure out what exactly is going on in Damon's head right now, because to hell if he knows otherwise.

[badcentury]

Ethan nods, but he doesn't say anything else for the time being. He doesn't quite trust himself. This isn't an anger that he's used to accepting, and he's not used to the results of it either.

It's what keeps Damon's mouth shut. He is so much older than Stefan now, and he doesn't need or want his little brother to have to clean up all his messes. It feels like that's all he's been doing for too long, taking responsibility for things that weren't his to own, sacrificing himself to save Damon. Damon is not worth saving.

He glances at Stefan and barely suppresses himself from rolling his eyes. It's just the firm reminder that he thought he would never see him again (for decades he believed it) that keeps him in check.

Damon moves though he wrenches away from Stefan's grasp, moving forward in quick, focused movements.

[somanyadjectives]

Damon is always worth saving. At least to Stefan.

It's not an altruistic gesture on his part. He doesn't do it because he likes saving people, or because he thinks Damon deserves it. He does it out of a violent, damaged, unhealthily codependent need to have his brother existing, living, even if it's a depraved and self-destructive existence because as far as Stefan is concerned, the world isn't right without Damon.

Even when their relationship was at it's worst, even when Damon killed his best friend, Stefan couldn't bring himself to cross that line and end his brother's life. Damon, at the end of the day, is all he has. If Stefan loses that, eternity would seem just a little bit emptier.

Still, he's used to Damon wrenching away from him, and he watches the tension in his shoulders, trying to get a read on what exactly is happening inside Damon's head, even though he never really could.

"What was that about?"

[badcentury]

Stefan will never stop saving him, and deep down, Damon knows that.

It has been decades, but he knows that one thing will not ever change. It's not about deserving or not deserving (as he has tried with all his might to be hated, to be the terrible thing that deserved to be the monster that he is). His little brother doesn't want him to die permanently ever, and it is not like Damon wouldn't do anything to keep Stefan alive too at the end of the day.

There's this terrible but very real, very unhealthy codependency between the both of them. He is searching for alcohol and not thinking of the many terrible things he has done (this one hardly chalks up to the rest of them though he knows Elena will be angry with him.

Angry is putting it lightly. She might be about done with the likes of him. Elena has grown even in Chicago she had and she's spent more time in another universe, being with Ethan).

"Just unfinished business," Damon says between his teeth like it is really that simple, and it is not and they both know it. He stops at the nearest bar (the ship is full of them), reaching for the nearest bottle. Eternity is empty. They don't stay on this ship. No one does. They all go back through that door eventually and all go back where they came from. "It doesn't really matter."

[somanyadjectives]

"It nearly got you thrown off the ship."

He reaches for his own bottle, because he has a feeling that Damon probably isn't in the mood to share. He pours himself a glass before settling on the stool next to him, watching him carefully. There's something going on there, under the surface. He just needs the time to figure out what.

"I'd say on some level it matters."

[badcentury]

Damon smirks, and it is one of those reckless, dangerous smirks of his that his brother will recognize immediately. "Maybe I wanted to take a swim," he fills in before he leans further against the bar, releasing a long breath.

He swallows and then he is hit with sudden emotion. His jaw locks.

"You don't have to clean up after me, little brother." And his messes. It's what Stefan always does, but it has been a long time and he is not anyone's responsibility.

[somanyadjectives]

Damon may not be his responsibility, but in a way he is. The same way that Stefan was Damon's after Klaus made him go with him. They're always going to have some amount of responsibility to each other. That's part of what being family was.

Even one as screwed up as theirs.

"Maybe not. But I'm not sure I want some werewolf turning you into a chewtoy either."

Stefan do not start making dog jokes about Elena's boyfriend. That's not nice.

[badcentury]

"Oooh, Stefan." Damon makes a sound as he shakes his finger in his brother's direction as if chiding him. "Don't let Elena know you said that about, wolfboy."

Dog jokes about Ethan go down very badly, and Elena would get very, very mad at you, Stefan. Damon should know, because he's made enough of them all by himself, and he has been on the other end of that anger multiple times. Even before she was dating him.

"He wasn't going to turn me into a chewtoy either. Just gonna... throw me off the side. Looks like a nice swim." He tilts his body until he is looking over the railing with a slow smirk, shrugging his shoulders since he doesn't really care that he was nearly thrown off.

Death seems like a good option in comparison to the world he was in before.

[somanyadjectives]

Stefan cares not for Ethan's feelings at this particular juncture. And he's not going to tell Elena he was making dog jokes either, because he has common sense, but that won't really stop him from saying them anyway. When warranted. And probably not to Ethan's face.

(You should not do them to Ethan's face at all, Stefan. You shouldn't be making them at all. Stefan doesn't really particularly care.)

"Assuming that there's room to swim. Or the water's even real. Or there's an overboard to actually go over." No one's tested what happens if something goes over the side that he knows of. Maybe they just get magically zapped into place. Maybe they just go back where they came from. Hard to say, really.

[consumes]

Damon folds his arms across his chest as he shrugs as if it doesn't matter to him, and it doesn't matter to him. There's very little about what could potentially happen to him that matters anymore.

"So maybe it's time someone tested it out so we can all have the answers to those burning questions. I was volunteering."

Yeah, that is totally what was planned all along, Damon.

[somanyadjectives]

"You volunteering usually means someone else getting tossed overboard."

There's a bit of a firm look at that because the idea of his brother killing himself, even if it's suicide by werewolf, does not sit well with him, and Damon should know that. He doesn't particularly care what Damon has been through - Stefan's never just going to let him die. Not if he's around to stop it.

"What's going on with you?"

[consumes]

Oh, Damon knows. He is so aware of Stefan's inability to ever let him die even if it is what would be better for the rest of the world, even when it is what would be better for Damon.

He smirks even if it is an entirely unamused expression. "Lets just call this growth, little brother."

[somanyadjectives]

"Growth."

He doesn't want to just leave it at that, because he knows there's more going on under the surface. There are things that Damon isn't telling him, which is par for the course of their relationship, really, but this feels like something Stefan should learn about. Sooner, rather than later.

Still, he doesn't push. He knows that Damon needs to come to him when he's ready.

"Whatever you say."

[consumes]

Look, Stefan, Elena is already ready to run off and try to change the ship itself to hell with any consequences so he won't have to go back to that world ever. He knows the two of them together would equal reckless, self-sacrificing all for the likes of him. He doesn't want either of them to lose more or suffer more because of him, because they are trying to save him.

They're the two most important people in his life even having gone decades without seeing them. He is not letting that happen. One way or another. It's eighty years of growth and hell, and no one else is going to get hurt for the likes of him and his miserable excuse for a life (an undead life).

He smirks at what Stefan says. "Now see I really like the sounds of that. Whatever I say. Can that be the ship's mantra?" Damon clasps Stefan's shoulder with what is meant to be a reassuring little smirk. "It's fine, Stefan. Don't worry so much."

[somanyadjectives]

The problem is, Stefan and Elena are going to do it anyway. Because they haven't had decades that determined their lives aren't worth being risked for Damon's or that they're better off without him there. And to be fair, Stefan wouldn't send him back there, even if he didn't care. And maybe that makes him reckless and self-sacrificing, but it's Damon.

He's one of the most important people in Stefan's life too.

"See, whenever you tell me it's fine? I can't help but worry."

[consumes]

Damon knows, and he knows that Elena would tell Stefan eventually anyway. They are both endlessly determined that he stay alive despite consequences to themselves. The thing is that he would do the same for either of them. Maybe he should take matters into his own hands and try to take care of it before the tag team can do so.

"You worry either way, Stefan, and then you run off to do something reckless that hurts you ultimately in the end... all in the name of trying to help me. So maybe just once I want history to not repeat itself."

The honesty comes with the decades of time in that other world and all his time in Chicago. Growth. It was decades where there wasn't much to do but to examine himself and his failings and his mistakes and his choices.

[somanyadjectives]

It's not a bad idea.

The history that repeats for Stefan and Damon is never the good kind. It's never the kind of history that only ends in pain and suffering, and in a way it hurts them both. Stefan takes the direct hit and resents Damon for it which only pushes them further apart. They're so entwined in each other, and one way or another one of them gets hurt.

"You're my brother, Damon. You're all I have. It doesn't matter where in the stupid sea of universes we are, that isn't going to change. So you can tell me what's going on, or I can find out myself, but I'm not going to not try and help you just because you tell me to. I don't care about history repeating."

So sorry, Damon. Your little brother is always going to be an idiot when it comes to you. That's something that will never change, no matter how hard you try.

[consumes]

It is an idea that Damon is going to go through with.

He weighs how long it would take Stefan and Elena to discuss this versus how long it would take him to take matters into his own hands. Damon has already started looking into it, knowing Elena was going to do so. Maybe he can beat them both to the punch and take on whatever consequences this ship wants to hand out.

"To sum up, the world that I ended up in is... terrible, and I've been there a very long time." Damon swallows thickly as he folds his arms across his chest, shutting out a lot of things that threaten to-- "And I don't want to go back."

He would give anything to not have to go back so getting thrown off a magic ship? Doesn't seem that terrible. Seems preferable.

[somanyadjectives]

He doesn't have to ask how terrible. If Damon considers it terrible enough to use the word, Stefan can imagine. And he's not terribly inclined to let his brother go back there either. He studies Damon's face carefully for a moment, before glancing out to the edge of the ship.

Unlike Damon, Stefan doesn't think throwing himself overboard is preferable.

"So you don't go back." Because that's as simple as it is. "You can come with me and Rebekah, or go with Elena. Just because it's our door doesn't mean you can't go through it." That's not how the rifts worked, anyway.

[consumes]

"Assuming one of your doors open long enough and preferably before I am dragged through my own," Damon says with a tiny nod and a shrug of his shoulders. He's heard of it happening. The door's will just take someone, and he doesn't know that he wants to wait long enough to let it happen. If he goes through with one of them, he has that wonderful tendency toward destruction anyway, and he does not want to do that to Elena or Stefan anymore.

He's old. He has lived longer than he should have to start with. Stefan should have let him die in bed instead of making a deal with Klaus. Something Damon never lived, but he saw the end results and what it did to Stefan.

[somanyadjectives]

Stefan is never just going to let him die. That's not an option that's on the table, Damon. Stop making it one.

In a way, they've all lived longer than they should have. Both he and Damon should have died over a century ago, after taking shots to the chest while trying to rescue the women they loved. Damon may have made his choice, but Stefan never wanted to be a vampire, never wanted the weight the immortality and bloodlust sitting on his shoulders. There's a weight and responsibility to the chain of events of that night, because without Damon there would be no Stefan as he is now, but without Stefan, the same could be said.

They all destroy things in their own way. And Stefan was without his brother for too long to consider doing it again - and more to the point, abandoning him to some world that would drive him to near suicide.

"We'll find a way. We usually do."