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Entry tags:
open ] [i am a wolf in your eyes and i'm filled with regret
[ooc: SO THEY ARE fighting for real. if your character wants to try to break it up, watch out, they're vampire and werewolf (though the cliffhanger moment i think someone could talk sense into Ethan rlkj;ea). also all the furniture/the bar/the alcohol on the deck and stuff is gonna be a bit destroyed for awhile. SORRY ABOUT THAT. someone should try to make them clean it up lol]
This has been building for awhile. Honestly, it's been building since Chicago, but being on this ship with Damon's constant jabs and comments (calling him wolfboy over and over again when there's nothing Ethan hates more than the werewolf inside of himself) and the knowing that Ethan not only fell out of a Rift after Elena when it was Damon that chose to go with her (and he hasn't seen her in decades, DECADES before now) and the knowing that they're in a relationship-- And part of always be in love with Elena even if she is his best friend first (and that dynamic can take over), Damon has always been in love with her too.
They end up on the deck alone together, and it doesn't take long to build into violence because it has been building for a long, long time. Ethan, for his part, tries to walk on by, ignoring Damon, but Damon starts in with the jabs and Ethan has a temper that he is no longer avoiding. He's done the worst as a werewolf. What more is there to avoid about it?
"I think I'm just going to have to remind you that I'm the one that was in that car with her that day." Damon is trying for the sarcasm but it's coming out sharp, angry. "Not you. You were perfectly good with walking away."
It's been building, and there's a certain level of too sharp, too real hurt when it comes to that particular accusation, and it's why the words come out in a shout, with bite. "I WAS COMING BACK."
"But you still thought you'd be good with WALKING away in the first place, didn't you? You left, and I stayed and I am always going to stay with her. I am always going to choose her like I always have, and that's not something you can say, wolfboy."
"Yes, because your obsessive fucking STALKER levels is something to wave around like a fucking flag." Ethan's hands become fists hard. The whole of him is shaking with rage and the need for violence. "Elena and I are together. She doesn't choose you, and it's her choice that is relevant here. Not yours. I understand that that is something you struggle to handle, but that never gives you the excuse to act like a jackass to me or to her. Do you understand? You need to back off or believe me, I. will. make. you."
And everything that Ethan is saying is striking a really, really hard nerve inside of Damon. The anger is growing and growing and so is the hurt, but he somehow manages to smirk (because if anyone is going to throw the first blow here, it's going to be her precious better man than Damon could ever be). He is used to burying down so much pain, and the smirk slides a bit further, something half sadistic in it. "Did you know Elena and I were together New Year's Eve? On my desk? It was really, really hot. Threw all of the things off of the desk, went wild. Y'know, now that I think about it, funny enough that was during the time you were once again strangely comfortable with walking directly out of her life--"
It is impossible to describe Ethan's reaction, because Elena and Ethan tell each other everything (almost everything, there are some things they were still working to tell each other, and it's true-- it's true that he wasn't-- it's something he regrets and guilt that he lives with every single day because the absence of Elena in his life is something he cannot--). There's a moment that it takes before it processes like he can't really wrap his head around the fact that this dickhead asshole and Elena actually-- And then it hits suddenly with visuals along with the grief and the guilt and the rage for Damon unlike he has ever fucking known it before.
Ethan lets out a noise of rage that hardly sounds human (and he's not really at the end of the day) and everything goes red all at once because he's picturing it and it's true that he wasn't there for fucking-- he wasn't there for her, and he lunges at him with both of his hands up, knocking him back so hard into the bar that they crash it open, breaking down the side of the wall completely as Damon hurdles back into the shelves of alcohol that all come crashing down on top of the both of them. Damon mutters a Finally before he shoves himself forward back at Ethan, fists are flying from both sides, and they're both bloody and furniture near by is getting broken in half or knocked to pieces along the way.
Neither one of them is really getting a leg up on the other. The rage and emotion inside of the both of them is intensely strong, and while Damon is much, much older than Ethan, Ethan's father made him and his brother to be stronger, faster than the average werewolf. It's not long at all until most of the deck has seen the results of this destruction (the furniture overturned or broken, bar broken, alcohol shattered), and Ethan manages to get that last punch in that has Damon sprawling backwards. The rage is still in every portion of his body (werewolves have so much rage, Ethan has had so much rage of his own, one and the same).
He reaches down gripping hold of Damon by the shirt and hauling him up violently against the railing (they're both bloody with bits of glass in them) as he shakes with that rage, intent on throwing him off the ship entirely at this point, because Ethan isn't exactly checking his strength. And that part inside of him that is violence and rage has clicked on.
If someone doesn't stop him, Damon is going straight into the water. Oops.
This has been building for awhile. Honestly, it's been building since Chicago, but being on this ship with Damon's constant jabs and comments (calling him wolfboy over and over again when there's nothing Ethan hates more than the werewolf inside of himself) and the knowing that Ethan not only fell out of a Rift after Elena when it was Damon that chose to go with her (and he hasn't seen her in decades, DECADES before now) and the knowing that they're in a relationship-- And part of always be in love with Elena even if she is his best friend first (and that dynamic can take over), Damon has always been in love with her too.
They end up on the deck alone together, and it doesn't take long to build into violence because it has been building for a long, long time. Ethan, for his part, tries to walk on by, ignoring Damon, but Damon starts in with the jabs and Ethan has a temper that he is no longer avoiding. He's done the worst as a werewolf. What more is there to avoid about it?
"I think I'm just going to have to remind you that I'm the one that was in that car with her that day." Damon is trying for the sarcasm but it's coming out sharp, angry. "Not you. You were perfectly good with walking away."
It's been building, and there's a certain level of too sharp, too real hurt when it comes to that particular accusation, and it's why the words come out in a shout, with bite. "I WAS COMING BACK."
"But you still thought you'd be good with WALKING away in the first place, didn't you? You left, and I stayed and I am always going to stay with her. I am always going to choose her like I always have, and that's not something you can say, wolfboy."
"Yes, because your obsessive fucking STALKER levels is something to wave around like a fucking flag." Ethan's hands become fists hard. The whole of him is shaking with rage and the need for violence. "Elena and I are together. She doesn't choose you, and it's her choice that is relevant here. Not yours. I understand that that is something you struggle to handle, but that never gives you the excuse to act like a jackass to me or to her. Do you understand? You need to back off or believe me, I. will. make. you."
And everything that Ethan is saying is striking a really, really hard nerve inside of Damon. The anger is growing and growing and so is the hurt, but he somehow manages to smirk (because if anyone is going to throw the first blow here, it's going to be her precious better man than Damon could ever be). He is used to burying down so much pain, and the smirk slides a bit further, something half sadistic in it. "Did you know Elena and I were together New Year's Eve? On my desk? It was really, really hot. Threw all of the things off of the desk, went wild. Y'know, now that I think about it, funny enough that was during the time you were once again strangely comfortable with walking directly out of her life--"
It is impossible to describe Ethan's reaction, because Elena and Ethan tell each other everything (almost everything, there are some things they were still working to tell each other, and it's true-- it's true that he wasn't-- it's something he regrets and guilt that he lives with every single day because the absence of Elena in his life is something he cannot--). There's a moment that it takes before it processes like he can't really wrap his head around the fact that this dickhead asshole and Elena actually-- And then it hits suddenly with visuals along with the grief and the guilt and the rage for Damon unlike he has ever fucking known it before.
Ethan lets out a noise of rage that hardly sounds human (and he's not really at the end of the day) and everything goes red all at once because he's picturing it and it's true that he wasn't there for fucking-- he wasn't there for her, and he lunges at him with both of his hands up, knocking him back so hard into the bar that they crash it open, breaking down the side of the wall completely as Damon hurdles back into the shelves of alcohol that all come crashing down on top of the both of them. Damon mutters a Finally before he shoves himself forward back at Ethan, fists are flying from both sides, and they're both bloody and furniture near by is getting broken in half or knocked to pieces along the way.
Neither one of them is really getting a leg up on the other. The rage and emotion inside of the both of them is intensely strong, and while Damon is much, much older than Ethan, Ethan's father made him and his brother to be stronger, faster than the average werewolf. It's not long at all until most of the deck has seen the results of this destruction (the furniture overturned or broken, bar broken, alcohol shattered), and Ethan manages to get that last punch in that has Damon sprawling backwards. The rage is still in every portion of his body (werewolves have so much rage, Ethan has had so much rage of his own, one and the same).
He reaches down gripping hold of Damon by the shirt and hauling him up violently against the railing (they're both bloody with bits of glass in them) as he shakes with that rage, intent on throwing him off the ship entirely at this point, because Ethan isn't exactly checking his strength. And that part inside of him that is violence and rage has clicked on.
If someone doesn't stop him, Damon is going straight into the water. Oops.
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For his part, Damon is tilting his head, shaking it in response, because-- "I haven't been in Mystic Falls in a long, long time, and when I was there, the people who died stayed dead. You never saw them again."
Granted, he was not there ultimately very long. The last day he was there they'd saved Elena from being kidnapped, and he went into her room to make a confession that he would then compel her to forget. I can't be selfish with you, he'd said except he is. He's selfish with her all the time, and he knows he doesn't deserve her.
That he never could.
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"You do when someone pulls down the veil between the real world and the Other Side. You can't tell me you don't remember that."
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Damon smiles at him, waving as he leaves. The smile is half a smirk because he is that much of a jackass. Then he looks back at Anna, lifting an eyebrow. Well, the more that he hears about the future of Mystic Falls, the more he's grateful that he got out of it even if there was no choice in that.
"Didn't happen to me. This ship pulls people out from different times and different universes, and shortly after you died, I landed in Chicago and never saw Mystic Falls again." It was probably a few weeks or months after she died. "Not surprised to hear that town went even further to hell in a hand basket while I was away."
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Anna's as familiar with science fiction as much as anyone who's picked up a book or turned on a television in the past century is, but while the supernatural is very much a reality, science fiction isn't. As much as some people would like science to trump the mystical, magic is real and science has yet to make the necessary breakthroughs to make all those things on Star Trek possible.
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Damon doesn't know how the science of it all works really, and the whole world ended up being destroyed in the end anyway. He just knows he has not been in Mystic Falls in a long time, and he didn't realize they'd added ghosts to the supernatural beings wandering around in it.
this voice is so rusty. apologies for any butchering :x
For a moment, Anna looks away, processing the possibilities as she watches Ethan retreat from them. She ought to feel bad that she drove the other man away with her direct addressing of Damon, but mostly she's disappointed the other guy didn't stick around to entertain her with another Damon ass-kicking.
"So you're what, some alternate timeline doppelgänger?"
omg no she is perfect
Damon lifts his eyebrows up at her.
"I'm Damon. Just not the one that made it to the ghost-y stuff. Have to say I'm really grateful for that. There are some people I'd prefer to stay dead." He's thinking of all the people that he killed.... which would be a lot. There's a tiny smirk in her direction. "You're not one of them."
Isn't he sweet?
you are too kind <3
Given his penchant for getting wrapped up in the lives of doppelgängers and subsequently falling for them. First Katherine, then Elena... Why girls with that face drew people in so easily was beyond her, especially when it came to Salvatore men, because both Stefan and Damon were hopelessly hooked on Jeremy's sister.
His comment surprises her. She remembers; he was down there that night, after the Gilbert Device was set off and she was taken. Anna thought they were all going to die that night, that nobody was going to get out alive – John had made sure she didn't, and the rest had presumably burned. She didn't her bearings on the Other Side until some time after that, didn't see how Damon had managed to make it out alive.
"Can't exactly say the same about you..." But begrudgingly, she admits, "Though I am glad that guy didn't beat you to a bloody pulp, even if you do kind of deserve it. What did you do to piss that guy off, anyway?"
i tell the truth ;o; <3
Maybe every time it hurts him to move, he'll remember exactly how he failed Elena and why- Damon doesn't know why he wants to destroy things for everyone else. Just because he can't have anything of his own, just because he is stuck in a terrible world. It's just instinct. Despite all his growth, it's instinct to destroy when it hurts, and it hurts.
"Really? You're glad that he didn't throw me off the ship? I'm surprised," Damon says with a slow smirk before he shakes his head. "No idea. Just reminded him of some of his failings in regards to Elena especially..."
That apparently stung likely because it is very true.
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Especially after months and months of being stranded on the Other Side with nobody who could hear her or interact with her. Just the world moving on without her as if she wasn't even there.
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People come and go as far as he can tell.
He's just trying to avoid going himself.
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Instead, she has Damon and Stefan. And Elena, too, she guesses...
"Elena and I don't really get along, in case you forget the part where I tried to kill her and dated her brother?"
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His voice is sharp despite the fact that is all in the past. Damon is not forgiving like Elena Gilbert is.
The attempt at killing Elena is enough to make him angry, violent (nevermind he's done plenty of terrible things to her himself).
"Elena is very forgiving you'll find," Damon says quietly. Given, he killed her brother once, and they were still able to be best friends. It took a long road to get to that point and Damon would never hurt Jeremy again, but they did.
idk what i'm doing with her alkdjfasd
It's a rash, sudden thing to say, but that doesn't make it any less true. Anna doesn't regret what she did, knows that if she had the chance to do it all over again, she would, in all likelihood, do it the exact same way. Because it was her mom. She once told Jeremy that he was her weakness, when in reality, it was Pearl. Anna would've made a deal Klaus if it could've gotten her mother out of that tomb sooner. She waited so long for it, that as the time drew nearer, she did whatever she could to ensure that it would work.
Because she couldn't go another 145 years without her mother. She just couldn't. And now that she was away from her again... At least she had the satisfaction of knowing that her mother was at peace, no longer trapped on the Other Side. Pearl couldn't be held as a bargaining chip over her head and she could find a way to be on this ship without worrying about what was happening to her mom.
That, of course, doesn't mean any of the things she did were right. She knows they were wrong and doesn't fault anyone for holding them against her. Least of all Elena.
And where Damon's concerned, well, that's just the pot continuing to call the kettle a variety of shades of black.
OMG you are doing awesome things w/ her /loves her .-.
It's terrible. He loves her, but is always hurting her and always will (that is what he does).
He killed her little brother in front of her, because he was heart broken~. He is terrible and destructive, and the mess that has been left from this fight is further evidence of that. The fact that a part of him wanted Ethan to throw him overboard right then and there (because he wanted to destroy himself). How ever much he may have grown, and he has. It doesn't make any of what he has done right, not at all.
"You don't have to want it for her to give it to you." Damon raises his gaze to her slow, meeting hers from where he's at. "Certainly don't have to deserve it." That's his tiny acknowledgement that he is aware of his own failures and mistakes, that what he has done has been very wrong. He gets to his feet, heading toward the bar, expecting that she'll follow. He just needs a drink. "So the big, mystery question is why don't you want it?"
The forgiveness.
♥♥
Harsh? Maybe, but at least she was honest. She did what she did, and she'd do it again. Doing those things meant accepting the consequences that came with them. She's lived for this long with them, she can live (or not live) a bit longer knowing that Elena Gilbert held her in contempt for the stunts she pulled to get her mother out of that damned tomb.
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Damon doesn't back away as she strolls up to him. It is no less harsh than he is with himself, but he is already upset from what just happened, already tangled up in his emotions from that particular fight.
"Newsflash, I am perfectly aware of what I have done. I am a terrible vampire. We're vampires in case you've forgotten. We do terrible, horrible things." It's the reason. "And when you've done as much as I have, you can't afford to feel it." He cannot afford to feel the guilt of hundreds of years of doing and being the terrible person that he is (guilt is a human emotion, and he is not human, he is not). He has to be terrible.
He has to be worthless and terrible. It is the reason behind everything. It's the reason Katherine didn't want and love him after all. It's the reason that he became a vampire, that his brother made him one even when Damon didn't want to be one anymore (he had betrayed Stefan for so long and been so jealous of him that it was the least that he could do to not leave him alone).
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Anna frowns at him, taking a healthy step back from him as she crosses her arms over her chest. She can tell he's hurting, but it's not really her problem. Or her business. She senses there's more to this recent bought of hurt than she's aware of.
"If you can't afford to feel it and are so set on being terrible, then why haven't you just turned it off?"
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He takes a step toward her as she takes that step back from him. He is dangerous and reckless. It's his choice that he made because he is a terrible thing. Otherwise, there are hundreds of years of guilt that he doesn't want to-- can't afford to feel. He isn't human. Feeling like he is remotely human, that is what hurts because it isn't true.
"I have before for a long time. Life sucks either way. That's what I told Jeremy when I came to tell him you died. Life sucks either way."
A lot of things have changed... but that-- that hasn't. He isn't going to admit he no longer has the ability to turn it off. It was his rift change. He wouldn't turn it off here anywhere, but how he craved to just let go of every emotion in that other world for over eighty years.
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It's an unfortunate story each and every time.
"What do you want me to do, thank you for telling a boy who liked me that I died?" A boy she liked in return and still likes, but Anna's lived too long to get hung up on one boy whose life she was ultimately inferring in. She's not Katherine. "A boy whose neck you later snapped in the heat of a drunken hissy fit? Yeah, I saw that. I saw a lot of things while I was stuck on the Other Side, Damon."
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Damon manages to flinch when she mentions that. It's true, of course. He did it. One of those things he immediately regretted, but it doesn't change what he did.
"No. I'm saying life sucks either way." There's a low release of breath. He is not the Damon in Mystic Falls. He is the Damon that went to Chicago, that spent decades in hell with no chance for an escape from it, from his guilt, from what he has done. It's one that grew to care about Jeremy in his own way. The admittance comes so quiet and low. "I would take it back."
Killing Jeremy, he would take that back if he could, but he can't. "Jeremy ended up in Chicago too. I don't know how things turned out back home, but he had an actual life there. He hunted things, graduated from high school, all those big milestones."
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Momentarily distracted from her frustration with Damon being Damon, Anna's face lights up with hope. Jeremy went to this Chicago everyone's constantly speaking of. He grew up. He graduated. He lived a life. She's happy to hear that, because from where she was standing, it seemed like Jeremy was constantly being held back by the people around him. He'd been through so much, and without the fear of winding up alone on the Other Side influencing her thoughts, she can see that she was part of what he went through.
And she's sorry about that, even if she's not sorry she met him.
"But you can't, Damon. You can't go back and undo it. Don't you think trying to undo things has caused Mystic Falls enough trouble?" Katherine, Klaus, the Other Side— "Instead of trying to undo things, why don't you try doing things right and better in the here and now? In the future? The past can't be changed."
If it could, Anna would've found a way to stop the town from finding out about the vampires or fled from it before they did.
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Instead he just swallows thickly. He heard about how trying to undo one of his screw ups lead to Jenna being killed instead, lead to his being bitten by Tyler which lead to Stefan signing himself away.
Damon is very aware that she is right even if admitting that is something else entirely.
So instead, he just lifts a drink from the nearest bar that has not been destroyed. He lifts the entirety of the bottle, and Damon swallows down the emotions rising up through his chest. He doesn't comment on any of those things that hit too terrifyingly close to home. For once, he is not an ass either.
"You really loved him, didn't you?"
It's said quietly. "I guess it's still love maybe. You are still around."
Even if she is dead, even if she is a ghost.
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What has he been through? Something changed him. Chicago?
She nods, shrugs. "I did — do. Past tense works. I was supposed to be moving on, finally. No more Other Side. Just peace. But, I guess being here and tangible again means I'm not moving on anymore."
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Damon always figured there was nothing after death. Obviously, if one becomes a vampire, there is very much something after death, but he means the permanent kind of death.
There was a time when he was human that he believed in God, but he doesn't anymore.
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