[john feels it, connected deeply between the two of them.]

A list? Wow, do they give you this whole list or do they leave you guessing?

[his smirk widens with wryness of his own. john doesn't know if he'd want to see his own list if he were there. oh, john. he is very aware of the terrible things that he is done (he knows he is a monster, a freak).] Who are they to say that, to take that debt? It sounds a lot more like they're trying to manipulate some game and using people to do that.

[john really doesn't like the thought of this place, and he doesn't like thinking that she's there.]