voyagers | [ota] i am a super srs rper

Whatever it is like, no one's going to stop you.

[john makes that promise, and luckily for damon, he swore to himself he would never kill again so he wouldn't throw him overboard. he might suspend him in the air for a little while but he'd let him down again. and unless you're jedikiah, it is pretty hard to push his buttons to that point. he has been trained on how to not react, how to set up those walls so he could be the best agent that he could be. doesn't mean things don't get in, people don't get in somehow even so. doesn't mean he doesn't somehow manage this warmth, because he does.

it just means that he has been taught opening up means... pain. flinching means showing a vulnerability, and he doesn't do that.

john takes another bite from the plate before he chews, swallows, looks across the table at her again. he shakes his head.] Starts with a journal entry to... everyone. Find out who else wants to get to the bottom of things, figure out what skills they have, how best they can be used. There have to be a few locked doors around here.

[and john can teleport.]

[ remind elena to add to her to-do list:

never introduce john and damon. they can be kept separately and on their respective corners of the ship. though it's reassuring to know he would never kill anyone on the ship, even if he had good reasons to. and well, damon is good at pushing buttons if he's in the mood to lash out and self-destruct. still, elena doesn't think damon's a terrible person.

just someone that often makes really, really terrible decisions. ]

That's a good idea, actually. I've hesitated making a journal entry, because I'm not sure if it works like how I'm used to, and it potentially means anyone could see that entry, including whoever's watching. [ if they're watching, and it would give them an opportunity to foil their plans. ] But we can test that out with each other at some point.

[ preferably when they're both a bit more sober. :') ]

[this obviously means that they will meet one day soon. :')

granted, john swore this to himself back when he was much younger, and he broke that promise not once but twice in the last few weeks (has it really only been weeks since his whole world exploded, and he stopped being able to hold on to anything? he knew it was coming, but--

but part of him had almost hoped).]

Well, it's smart to be hesitant about it, but if they can apparently read our minds to know what we need when we need it, I don't know that there's any amount of keeping that information from them. I know how to block people out of your mind, but... it seems like they're this other level of powerful. [and john doesn't know if stopping them from seeing is even possible. it doesn't mean he won't try, doesn't mean he doesn't have his walls up inside like always.] That'd be a good idea. Testing it out. ...how are you used to those journals? Were they at the place you're from?

[ well. ... yes.

elena is nodding along to everything he is saying - they will have to be careful and this does seem like a whole other level of powerful - and she only stops once he asks how she's used to the journals. she opens her mouth, and promptly closes it. it's always been difficult to explain. or maybe not difficult, but complicated. ]

Sort of? [ she wrinkles her nose a little. ] There's where I'm from originally and where I ended up three years ago. It was a place that had this ... supernatural magic network? Which sounds crazy, I know, but ... everyone that ended up there got a journal, too. You could lock it to specific people, and lock it away from dangerous ones.

[ it could be incredibly useful, and as far as she knew, it was pretty much unhackable. ]

[john looks up at her with confusion when she does try to explain it all, and he shakes his head after a second.]

...you're from two different places? [he slides a hand over the back of his neck as he takes a bite out of that chip. he knows they're referring to actual worlds here, and he doesn't even know how that happens or that that was a possibility beyond this temporary ship that only seems to keep them for a little while at a time

(for now at least which is why it's important to figure things out).]

How does that happen? [there's curiosity and also some concern there in his expression.

wow, john, being concerned about a stranger? WHO DOES THAT. SO SURPRISING. ahem.]

[ ...this is probably not the best conversation to have with someone that's still sort of drunk, oops.

(and wow, john. WHO DOES THAT INDEED.) ]

It's ... sort of a similar situation to the one with the red door? One moment you're where you've always been, and the next you're somewhere else altogether. [ that seems like a nice way to start things. ] Except it didn't take me to a boat, it took me to an alternate Chicago, and instead of a red door, they called it a rift.

These cracks in the universe we fell through.

[ it says something about her life that she can say all of that with a completely straight face now. ]

[it is okay. john is starting to get a bit more sober at the moment as he slowly makes his way through this delicious sandwich.

(wow he has NO IDEA certainly nothing that he would know about........)]

They're cracks in the universe, and if they're not a door, it means-- [he stops, because he knows what it means. john can put it together even before she's said it. the thing about doors is the doors can be open again eventually even if they have no control over the when. it means there is an entrance and an exit.

cracks imply falling through again without a choice, but you can't just open up another crack and fall back, hope you land in the same spot.

his voice is quiet.]

There wasn't a way to get back one you were there.

[ there's a small pause, followed by the slow shaking of her head. ]

They called it a one-way ticket to Chicago. [ as opposed to a round trip. elena hasn't seen home-home in years. she doesn't know that it would feel like home if she were ever to go back. she feels so displaced from mystic falls and who she used to be, the girl that was meant to die in the bridge. that life feels like a museum to her, something that exists in another place and time. ] There was more than one rift. A lot of them, actually. Too many of them.

[ the last part is said quietly. she's never really talked about it, beyond caroline. and even then, elena glossed over how brutal those last two weeks really were, and how much she still clings to a world that's gone now.

maybe she always will. it's what she does, and it's so stupid. to cling to what's gone. ]

[john lets out a slow breath at what she says, and he shakes his head half in an inability to understand what that must be like. as much as his world has its troubles, he can't imagine being torn from it so suddenly with no way back to it (oh, john). the structures, the rules, the danger is almost a comfort to him because he knows where he belongs in those things

and to have to relearn how the world works--

his expression is grim before he lifts his head again to look back up at her, meet her gaze.] Too many. The world wouldn't be able to... handle that.

[he notes the quiet way that she says it. his sandwich is almost finished, and john pauses for a brief moment before his hand rests against her arm.

john looks at her face with that concern intensely in his expression.]

...what happened?

[ (oh, john. give it this month...)

elena only looks up once she feels the weight of his hand against her arm. it seems like he pieced it all together, but she can also tell he doesn't want to assume. for someone that was so confused about elena's own concern about a near-stranger, she almost has to smile at the fact he's doing the exact same thing. or she would, if the conversation hadn't taken such a grave turn. ]

The rifts started to collapse in on themselves. There was a lot of scientific jargon, most of which I didn't understand, but all it meant was the world would start eating itself from the inside out. When the time came, you either found a rift to step through, or ...

[ well.

you'd get swallowed whole by the blackness, too. ]

[(

)

john's hand remains against her arm as he looks at her face. he can't imagine the things that she is describing or how difficult they must have been to see, to live through, to get to the other side of that. he shakes his head after a moment, much, much more sober than he had been before for multiple reasons now.]

That... sounds terrible. I wouldn't even be able to imagine watching the world eat itself from the inside out like that. [how horrifying that must have been to see it be ripped apart, swallowed whole. people must have been screaming, buildings taking in chunks. he tries to imagine what he would do in that situation, and he doesn't... know.] I'm... sorry.

[it sounds like another home lost.]

[ speaking of empathy.

elena can tell he really means that. it's not something he's just saying because it's commonplace and expected of him to do so. it doesn't make the lump in her throat tighten any less. she swallows past it somehow, looking down at the counter in between them. ] Me too. [ she doesn't know that she could put into words what chicago came to mean to her.

she would just never do it justice. she breathes in and tries for a small, flimsy smile. it doesn't quite reach her eyes. ] The experience did make it easier for me to adjust to all of this. Different worlds, realities. It's a lot to wrap your head around, but after nearly three years...

[ well, it just became a part of her life, really. ] Let's just say I've done a lot of traveling.

[john doesn't know much about commonplace or what's expected of him in this sense so it does come from the heart. it comes because he really means it. he stays close even as she looks down at the counter in between them, and he doesn't say anything else, but he can tell even without her saying that chicago meant a lot to her.

it was a home that she had to lose after another one. and there's something that strikes a chord in him at the sight of that small, flimsy smile on her face, how it doesn't quite reach her eyes.] It sounds like you are well experienced, and it might mean you're better at figuring this place out than someone that doesn't have that.

[there's a tiny smile before he shakes his head.] I would hate that. Not traveling, but... having everything ripped away like that. Where are you-- Where do you go to when you head through that door?

[because it's-- he hopes that that last rift didn't take her to this in between place.]

[ elena shakes her head. ]

Not in the way you'd think. The frustrating things about rifts is they often didn't have rhyme or reason to them, and sometimes you had to accept there weren't any satisfying answers, not that I ever ... wanted to. [ acceptance is not something that's in her vocabulary when it comes to defeat. ] Scientists from all over the world tried to control them and couldn't. It's magic and the universe and something else, maybe, but sometimes it's just as weird as it seems.

[ sometimes there are just holes in the universe and you fall through them, and you're forced to deal with that.

as for his other question - elena takes a deep breath and gives a tiny smile in return. ] It's a city called Teleios. They say it's a waiting room for some kind of Utopia, and we basically have to work off a debt to get there.

That does sound frustrating. You don't... seem like someone who is good at accepting defeat. [there's a pause after that and a tiny smile since he means that as a compliment. john was trained to be very good at reading people, and he can just tell with how determinedly she worked to help him tonight, to get him away from the pool. to the extent, she fell in along with him.] Magic.

[there's a tiny smile, because he never would have believed in it before this place, but it's hard to deny what's right in front of him. he has no explanations for why he is here, no explanations for how this ship can do what it does.

he tilts his head in confusion.] ...debt? Debt to who?

[ elena smiles back at him helplessly because no, she is really not. relentless and stubborn seems to be in the gilbert genes by default. and she is a gilbert, even if her biological father is john and not grayson like she thought for most of her life - ukw, more details. what it comes down to is grayson was her father in all the ways that counted. ]

Only the oldest beings of all time.

[ the answer is very, very dry. she's been stingy with who she shares this information, and she hasn't revealed her source in case jack wasn't supposed to say much as it is, but they're on this ship and not in teleios, so elena doesn't censor herself as much. ] They call them The Two, but they're supposedly... Good and Evil.

[ her life tho. ]

[john's smile widens at the sight of hers, and he shakes his head in quite, helpless, amusement, almost fondness too despite the fact that they have just met. they come from such different worlds, and there is something about her that he is drawn to as he leans against the counter.]

Only.

[there's a smirk on his face, because of the dryness with which she says it even as he shakes his head, because he doesn't get it really, but it sounds even more confusing than the world that she came from last with its rifts.] ...and you owe Good and Evil a debt for what exactly?

[seriously. what is your life even, elena gilbert.]

[ trust, john, that the feeling is very mutual. ]

There's apparently a whole list.

[ the wryness in her smirk doesn't quite fade. elena didn't get to meet athena, though she really should've, to see for herself all of the things she's done that the Two would count as transgressions. ] It's basically ... everything you've done in your life that you might need to make up for. To move on to somewhere better and know that you've earned it. In theory.

[ in practice, it just honestly seems like two old beings growing very bored and deciding to play a game. ]

[john feels it, connected deeply between the two of them.]

A list? Wow, do they give you this whole list or do they leave you guessing?

[his smirk widens with wryness of his own. john doesn't know if he'd want to see his own list if he were there. oh, john. he is very aware of the terrible things that he is done (he knows he is a monster, a freak).] Who are they to say that, to take that debt? It sounds a lot more like they're trying to manipulate some game and using people to do that.

[john really doesn't like the thought of this place, and he doesn't like thinking that she's there.]

They leave you guessing, but there are ways you can figure it out. Mostly discussing it with Athena, who is a ... goddess. Teleios means perfect in Greek, and there are agents who are also gods from different pantheons. Well, most of them.

[ the more she explains, the more ridiculous it all sounds. she's aware. ]

Like I said, the oldest beings of all time with enough power to do or say what they want. [ it is very, very frustrating. ] Not many have met them personally. The last agent I talked to before I ended up here said they never showed up in Teleios often unless it was absolutely necessary. Not much is known about them.

[ they're the two behind the curtain, and elena kind of seriously wants to just tug on that curtain. ]

...that all sounds frustrating as hell. They're really gods and goddesses there? So it means even if people wanted to revolt, it wouldn't be so easy to do.

[fighting Ultra is one thing, but... gods and goddesses are supposed to be damn powerful.]

I'm not a big fan of lack of control, and it sounds like... the place you're at has a lot of that while someone behind the curtain tugs on all the damn strings like... people are theirs to use.

[just thinking about it makes him feel this swell of anger in his chest helplessly so.]

Yeah, there really are. It sounds crazy, right? But it's real. They're agents working for the Two, at least some of them. So while they're powerful, they're ... not as powerful as them. It's really them we'd need to keep an eye out for.

[ the agents... well. they're after their own interests, always, and as long as you don't get in their way, you should be okay. it's when their interests go directly against yours that you should be worried. ]

A part of it is, yeah. But ... it's complicated. [ elena chews on her lip since she just had this conversation with atum. ] It's also a better alternative for a lot of people. It's saved them from a worse fate and given them a second chance. I've been reunited with people I never thought I'd see again, and they get second chances, too. Even if it ends up being a game to the people behind the curtains, it's not all bad, either.

[ she's grown fond of it in a lot of ways. and ... really hates it in others. ]

It really does. I believe you. It's hard not to when riding on a magic ship in the middle of an ocean.

[what isn't possible at this point? especially when this is some place between worlds, between universes. he's seen magic here, seen things he thought were only make believe.

john lifts an eyebrow at what she says before he nods after a moment. it would be complicated, but it would also be a potential escape. there's this wondering in his head if maybe that's not what the people behind the curtains had in plan. show them it's not so bad, let them have a second chance so they're grateful for this place. ...but he is suspicious by nature especially of those at the top.]

It does sound complicated. Complicated is dangerous, but it sounds like everyone is in a tight spot. There are no easy ways to get answers... so.

[they're stuck with what they know.

oh, john.]

[ oh, elena will never trust the two are far as she can throw them.

even the agents she has come to know and like, she wouldn't say she trusts them. at the end of the day they're still the people in power. she's thought of it before - if the two give them incentives such as these so they'll cooperate, but it just doesn't make it any less important to her - that she gets to see ric again where he would otherwise be dead, that someone like rue is relatively safe as opposed to forced into the hunger games to a potentially equally grisly fate.

it matters, even if it's all meant for their own purposes. it doesn't mean elena can't find her own meaning in it. she has to. there's no choice in her being there as it is. it's just stronger than her, stronger than even klaus if it can strip him completely of his powers. ]

No, there aren't. And they claim to believe in an even playing field, so people with abilities - they're stripped of them. In some cases that's a really good thing. [ bc who wants klaus and katherine at their full powers? ] In other ways, it makes getting answers or leaving that much harder. It's just - it's bigger than us.

[ so she has to find a way to move on with her life in spite of that. ]

[there's a pause as he nearly grimaces when she says people are stripped of powers. it is seeming much too much like ultra. people are kidnapped against their wills. they're stripped of their powers completely. the thought alone can make him shudder though he would be at least grateful to know that people can get their powers back, that it is not the same painful procedure that ultra has, which turns tomorrow people into husks of who they were.]

In other ways, it would be like taking-- They have already taken so much from people. Why do they get to take more? Why do they get to take away powers too? [john shakes his head, because he realizes she doesn't have those answers and the lack of having them must be frustrating as hell since she's the one that actually has to live it.]

...it sounds that way so all you can do is try to move forward or... to keep moving. Maybe not necessarily forward.

[to survive.]

[ota] i am a super srs rper

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